Coping in a Time of Major Life Change (The James)

Coping in a Time of Major Life Change (The James)

 

It is common during the early weeks and months following a major life change to feel afraid, angry, helpless, guilty, overwhelmed, frustrated or sad. You may cry a lot, have headaches or have trouble sleeping. You may be easily distracted and have a hard time concentrating. This is normal.

Here are some ways to take care of yourself while supporting your loved one:

  • Get plenty of rest, eat healthy meals and exercise.
  • Ask for help from family, friends or clergy.
  • When help is offered, let them know what they can do, such as cooking meals, housework, running errands, or providing childcare.
  • Plan an hour a day or an afternoon each week away from caregiving.
  • Talk with others about your feelings. Join a support group. Talk to a counselor or therapist.
  • Write down your feelings in a journal.
  • Practice meditation and other relaxation techniques such as prayer, yoga and tai chi.
  • Take a walk or do other exercise, work in the garden, take a bubble bath, listen to music, read or watch TV to rest your mind and help you relax.
  • Treat yourself to a gift of a magazine, flowers or dinner out.
  • Talk to your doctor about your life change and keep your own doctor appointments.
  • Do not use alcohol or drugs. Their use can lead to other problems.
  • Seek help if you have thoughts of suicide or harming yourself.
  • Do not make major life changes during this time. You may need time to adjust to your new situation.
  • Talk to an attorney about legal services and an accountant about financial matters. Free legal aid is available in many areas.

Children are also affected by major life changes. Young children may become anxious while teenagers become angry about disruptions to their lives. Let them talk or show their feelings. If they are in school, talk with their teachers about the situation. Seek help from school counselors.

 

How do you feel?

When you have a major life change, it may help to take time to check in with yourself to see how you feel. You may find it helpful to use the following online self-assessment tool:

  • https://www.nccn.org/docs/default-source/patient-resources/nccn_distress_thermometer.pdf?sfvrsn=ef1df1a2_4

Translated online self-assessment tool available in 71 languages:

  • https://www.nccn.org/global/what-we-do/distress-thermometer-tool-translations

If you are worried about your mental or emotional health, or any of the items you marked as a problem on your self-assessment, tell a member of your health care team. You may find it helpful to bring your completed self-assessment to your next medical appointment.

 

For More Information

  • Ohio State’s Department of Chaplaincy and Clinical Pastoral Education, 614-293-8791 (main campus) or 614-257-3255 (The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center East Hospital). 
  • National Mental Health America, 1-800-969-6642, www.mentalhealthamerica.net
  • Caregiver Action Network (CAN), 202-454-3970, http://caregiveraction.org/

 

 

© October 13, 2022. The Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center – Arthur G. James Cancer Hospital and Richard J. Solove Research Institute.

This handout is for informational purposes only. Talk with your doctor or health care team if you have any questions about your care.